Moving Beyond Life’s Roadblocks

Entering the new year provides us an opportunity to take stock of our lives, to evaluate where we are and consider the roadblocks that keep us from being where we want to be.  Some roadblocks are beyond our control, but so many are obstacles that we have created.      Roadblock focus.  One of the first things I learned in driver’s education was to keep my focus up the road toward the horizon to stay centered in the lane.

If I tried focusing on the area immediately in front or to the side, I could not stay in the center of the lane; instead it felt like a weaving obstacle course.  This is a metaphor for life.  We tend to move toward anything on which we focus.  If that focus is acutely tuned to the drama and troubles that immediately surround us, we may live “bumper car” lives, bouncing from one wall to another.  But if we stay focused on the horizon, we will be more balanced and centered.  Peripheral vision allows us to acknowledge and respond to the obstacles, but the focus must remain on our goals and the purposes of our journeys.      Roadblock reactions.  Over-reactions or under-reactions can be deadly in a vehicle and almost as destructive in life experiences.  Some people react to problems or failures with great self-pity (why does this always have to happen to me?),  blaming others (I was set up for failure by my parents, society, etc.) or blaming oneself (I’m such an idiot!).  Some drown their sorrows and some choose not react at all, entering a prison of apathy.      The most successful people maintain their intentions, paying minimal attention to the losses and persisting in their goals.  This is not ruthless; it is a way to acknowledge the inevitable roadblocks in life while refusing to be stopped by them.  We cannot accomplish anything if we do not intend to accomplish – intention is a continuing process of using all of your strength, intelligence and hope to achieve your goals, keeping your eyes on the prize.      Roadblock thoughts.  If we are to be totally honest we must acknowledge that we hear many voices in our heads.  They are the involuntary thoughts that we hear much of the time and often feel powerless to stop.  Many of them are tapes playing from the past that can sabotage the future.  For example, themes of childhood powerlessness or severe criticism may be rewound and replayed over and over into adulthood.  I knew a woman who was hypersensitive at work to what I perceived to be helpful advice.  Over a period of time I learned that her mother had been very critical of her – she felt that nothing she did or said was pleasing to her mother.  Any advice she was given in adulthood morphed into her mother’s voice, though the intent was quite different.  This same type of soundtrack can echo other thoughts from a past reality: “I can’t” instead of “I can.” “People cannot be trusted” instead of “Most people are trustworthy.” “When people are kind to me they just want something” instead of “Most people don’t have ulterior motives for their kindness.” “No matter what I do, I’m not good enough” instead of “I’m not perfect, but I will always try to do my best.”      In The Power of Now, inspirational author Eckhart Tolle suggests two steps to freeing your mind from roadblock thought patterns.  Step One.  Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years.  That is what is meant by “watching the thinker,” which is another way of saying:  listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence. Step Two.  When you listen to those thoughts, listen to them impartially.  That is to say, do not judge or condemn what you hear, for doing so would mean that the same voice has come in again through the back door.  You’ll soon realize:  there is the voice, and here I am listening to it.  You are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought, bringing a new dimension of consciousness.  The thought then loses its power over you and subsides, because you are no longer energizing the mind with those thoughts.  This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking.      In the words of nineteenth century poet Alfred Tennyson:                         Ring out the old, ring in the new,                         Ring, happy bells, across the snow;                         The year is going, let him go;                         Ring out the false, ring in the true!      May we all ring in the new year with a better understanding of ourselves and our ability to overcome life’s roadblocks.