Realistic, Positive Thinking Can Improve Your Mental Health Few of us have perfected the art, but most of us are aware of the contribution that optimism makes toward mental health. Put simply, a person's outlook on life has more to do with her or her happiness than what actually happens to that person. Healthy optimism is not confined to merely thinking positively; in fact there are forms of optimism that can be unrealistic and dangerous. I once worked at a domestic violence shelter where I often witnessed destructive positive thinking. A woman who was frequently abused by her husband returned home because the man promised to never assault her again and she believed him. She subsequently suffered her most brutal attack. This was a case of denial masquerading as positive thinking. Chronic gamblers are another example of tragic optimists. The form of optimism that fosters mental wellness contains realistic thinking tinged with hopefulness. In the book "The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make," by Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf, the authors speak of pessimism as the "Chicken Little syndrome." In the popular children's book Chicken Little was hit on the head by a falling acorn and immediately assumed that the sky was falling, catastrophizing a harmless event. The problem with pessimism is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Chicken Little and his friends were so terrified of the falling sky that they gratefully accepted Foxy Loxy's offer of refuge in his den. The only thing that fell was not the sky; it was the clamping jaws of Foxy Loxy around the poor necks of Chicken Little and his friends as he ate them for dinner. They were so busy retreating from an imaginary bogeyman that they did not recognize the real one.
	Let's follow Janet as she makes a sales pitch to a room full of prospective buyers. She is normally a confidant salesperson, but the thought of giving a speech breeds giant Monarch butterflies in her stomach. As she makes her way to the podium a series of pessimistic thoughts assail her brain. "I'll trip and fall before I reach the microphone, which probably won't work. I'll faint and land in an unladylike position. I'll forget everything I planned to say and just die!" Is it any wonder that she ultimately stammers, shakes, and inspires little confidence in her product? The real bogeyman was not delivering a speech, but her own sabotaging thoughts.
Somewhere between unrealistic optimism and pessimism is a place where we can recognize what is real and maintain hopefulness. We can recognize danger and suffer disappointment without assuming the absolute worst or disregarding our power to change things. Listen to yourself. If your thoughts constantly veer toward the negative, pay attention to that pattern in your life. It is vital to be aware of that pattern so that when you replay the tape of your negative thoughts you can evaluate for accuracy. Check for meaning. This is an important step in defeating unrealistic negative thinking. Ask yourself exactly what you mean by the negative thought that is churning in your brain. If your thought is, "This is horrible! I'll never survive this!" what do you believe will really perish? Your reputation? Your pride? Are you physically in danger? If salesperson Janet had checked her thoughts for meaning she probably would have concluded that she most feared embarrassment or losing her job - neither of which has ever resulted in death, to my knowledge. Checking for meaning forces you to face your worst scenario and recognize that while it may be unpleasant, it is survivable. Challenge your thoughts. Start with the worst case scenario and work your way back. If your boss asks to meet with you it could mean a variety of things from your being fired, to your being consulted about a project, to your being given a fat raise. Based on what you know about your boss and your performance, what is most likely? Don't agonize before you have something to agonize about. Suppose Janet had paid attention to her thoughts and recognized her negative tendencies prior to her sales pitch. Her thoughts might have been quite different: "Oh, here I go again, engaging in Chicken Little thinking. Will I really fall in an embarrassing sprawl? Unlikely. I've never fainted in my life, there are no manholes in the room, and I can wear comfortable flat shoes. Will I really forget everything I plan to say? Probably not. I know this product inside and out and I can take a 'cheat sheet' with key points highlighted. And besides, these people are not expecting an oration; they just want to know how my product can benefit them." Chronic negative thinking is often rooted in past experiences. It may have been functional for an abused child to think and expect the worst about people and events - after all, if he never expects good things he will not be disappointed or hurt. But as adults, we must take responsibility for our own quality of life. We must not allow the negative past to destroy the future. We can catch our negativity, determine its true meaning, and challenge those thoughts that are devoid of reality or hope.