Family-to-Family Program Offers Support

The holidays are a time for celebrating families, the only time of the year when some families can all be together.  Though the gifts are appreciated and the decorations eye-catching, the pull of the heart toward home comes strongest from family – the people who are the keepers of our life stories, who know us best and love us most.  Governor Ted Strickland proclaimed Thanksgiving week as Family Week in Ohio and urged all citizens to work toward strengthening families; Washington County is fortunate to have an education program designed to strengthen families coping with the mental illness of a family member.

The NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Family-to-Family Education Program is a free, 12-week course for family caregivers of individuals with severe mental illness.  The course is taught by trained family members and has graduated over 120,000 family members in hundreds of communities in the United States, Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico.  Two national studies of the program have concluded that it has been helpful to relatives of persons with mental illness by reducing burden and worry, increasing empowerment and knowledge of mental illnesses, enhancing knowledge of the mental health system and increasing self-care techniques.  Course graduates can also gain ongoing support by attending the weekly Family-to-Family support group.       Family-to-Family Education Program participants can:          Receive current information about schizophrenia, major depression, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder and co-occurring brain disorders and addictive disorders          Receive up-to-date information about medications, side effects and strategies for medication adherence          Gain empathy by understanding the subjective, lived experience of a person with mental illness          Learn problem solving, listening and communications techniques          Acquire strategies for handling crises and relapses          Learn self-care techniques, worry and stress management skills and how to handle emotional overload      Receive guidance on locating appropriate supports and services within the community      Learn about advocacy skills and programs       Families living with the mental illness of a loved one face unique challenges.  Not only must they cope with the stress and worry that is often involved in caring for the afflicted individual, but also the societal stigma of mental illness.  They may feel needless shame and guilt, fearing that they are somehow responsible for the illness.  They may feel isolated, either from self-imposed isolation or avoidance from others.  Do’s and don’ts for family members include: When communicating with your afflicted family member: Do  be respectful and calm.  Maintain a positive attitude.  Be honest with yourself and your family member. Don’t yell or shout at your family member, or argue with him or her about his/her symptoms.  (e.g., don’t try to talk him/her out of delusions or hallucinations)  Don’t get stuck in talking about the past – stay in the present. When dealing with difficult behaviors: Do accept that he or she has a legitimate illness.  Remain calm.  Set and discuss clear limits, rules and expectations for the behavior. Enforce them in consistent and predictable manner. Do give your family member space when it is asked for, as long as he or she is not a danger to self or others. Don’t take any of the behaviors personally; don’t interpret his or her behavior to be a reflection on your relationship or your influence.  Don’t tolerate abuse of any kind  and don’t blame all of the undesirable behaviors on the mental illness.  When experiencing overwhelming stress and worry: Do stay in contact with your support system.  If you do not feel you have one, contact your local Family-to-Family program.  That way you can talk to other people who are struggling with similar situations.  Do remember that you are not alone and take it one minute at a time. Don’t let the illness run your life.  Don’t take on the burden of trying to be your family member’s therapist or savior – you must take good care of yourself and allow yourself happiness or you will be of no use to anyone.      The next Washington County Family-to-Family Education Program will be on Tuesdays, beginning January 13, at 7:00 p.m. at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Marietta.  To register, call teachers Dell and Alf at 373-8000.      Peter Weiden, M.D., author of Breakthroughs in Antipsychotic Medications, says, “Family members who take the NAMI Family-to-Family course are better equipped to work with mental health clinicians in a collaborative manner.  My bottom line recommendation? Take this course.  It will help you learn to cope successfully with a major challenge in your life, and that, in turn, will help your loved one as he or she works toward recovery.”      Families dealing with brain disorders are worth our support.  They do not need our pity, they need our understanding and acceptance.  The Family-to-Family Education Program can be a huge stepping stone toward recovery for the entire family.