| The rate of change has dramatically increased in today’s
world. It is hard to remember the time when computers were mysterious,
hulking masses of metal in a few laboratories, when we bought dictionaries
or went to the library to do all of our research, when we had to change
the dial on our black and white televisions by hand (if we were fortunate
enough to have more than one station), and, if we were lucky, we had
a fan to cool off in the summer. But that was the reality in my youth.
American scholar William Arthur Ward said, “The pessimist
complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, and the
realist adjusts the sails.” Given that change can not be avoided,
how can we adjust our sails and find the positives in change?
- Anticipate a reaction to change. A friend once
got married, moved to a beautiful new home, and changed jobs. Because
these changes were all welcomed ones she could not understand why
she felt anxious and tearful. Understand that even good change brings
a certain amount of adjustment, stress, and even grief. Losing an
old set of circumstances or an old way of being may feel like a
loss.
- Draw from your past. Think about how you have
successfully adapted to a change in your life in the past and recycle
those coping skills. We often forget our own expertise.
- Face your fears. Some people relish new situations
and see them as adventures, but if you favor predictability and
feel threatened by change, ask yourself exactly what it is about
the change that bothers you most. What is the worst possible thing
that could happen as a result of the change? Could you survive that
worst possible thing? For most people, the answer is “yes.”
Instead of denying or avoiding your fears, face them head on and
develop a plan of action to address them.
- Adjust your thoughts. Some changes are very
painful; death, divorce and other losses can feel like the end of
the world. But whether welcomed or loathed, changes bring opportunities
for growth. We can dig our heels in, resist, and think about the
horrid cards we have been dealt. Or we can focus on healing from
the loss and thinking about how we can make the very best of the
new circumstances. It is all about focus; if look for blessings,
we will see them. If we do not believe they are possible, we will
not see them even when they occur.
- Get support. A 20-year Swedish study of 10,000
people aged 40 and over found that the single most important factor
protecting people against disease and death is not lifestyle factors,
but rather the number of people that live under your roof. The second
most important factor is the amount of social contact a person has
outside the home. Use friends and family as a sounding board for
what you are experiencing; no doubt many of them have successfully
navigated difficult changes. Reach out to people, the more the better.
Cultivating a strong support system will improve your physical and
mental health.
American author Frank Herbert said, “Without change, something
sleeps inside us, and seldom awakes. The sleeper must awaken.”
Changes in our lives may feel scary and cause us distress, but we
can learn to see them as adventurous opportunities. Only through change
can we avoid stagnancy and grow wiser and stronger. |
